PARENTS: AN EARLIER TRAINING AND PROPER UPBRINGING RIGHT FROM AN EARLIER STAGE IS REQUIRED AND NEEDED…(part 4)

Always endeavor to train your children not cry because they want to make requests from you ….. If you keep saying you don’t want them to cry or you are disturbed whenever they cry, so you give them what they want all the time, then this is a mistake, its very wrong, know that this is a bad training and it will never favour you….. It always amazes me when a child cries to collect something important , knowing fully well that they will destroy it and yet you hand it over to them…… Don’t be surprised when he cries even at the age of 10 just because he wants something which you are not capable of….
That’s why I’m not in support of the habit of giving children Money, once they are used to it, they will always cry to ask for it and this isn’t helping their future or the contentment you want to build in them…..
When we were small and someone gave us 5 naira or 10 naira, we mustn’t spend it….. We will make sure we give it to our mum and she won’t give it back to us, she prefers to have those biscuit/sweet at home to compensate us but she hardly gives money to children….that’s even when we have the opportunity of having 10 naira, we can keep it for a week without spending it, but nowadays you will be surprised seeing a child of 3 years spending 100 naira anyhow …… And he/she requests for it like that almost everytime ….. This behaviour may lead to destruction if care is not taken

May Allah make our children the coolness of our eyes

To be continued……

Written by: Bint Abdulganiyy Ummu Sumayyah, may Allaah preserve her.

PARENTS: AN EARLIER TRAINING AND PROPER UPBRINGING RIGHT FROM AN THEIR EARLIER STAGE IS REQUIRED AND NEEDED…(part 3)

It always so saddening when you see those that are assumed religious and masha Allah UMMU outside involving in this silly act “Bathing together with your children” just because they are still small especially a male child subhānalloh! Even if he is just a year old, what does it take you to bath separately?? A mother isn’t expected to feel comfortable bathing with their male child, its unreasonable….. What are you teaching him??
What do you want him to turn out to be in the future??
Even inside the house, you should know how to dress especially when your male children are available…. Children of nowadays have a very retentive memory that when they see something while still very small , they tend to capture it in their memory and you will be surprised when they say it out /or practice it some times has passed, then they take is as a manhaj…..
Ask yourself, what memory am I building in my children??
Some engage in this in the presence of their husbands (I wonder which kind of men they are) while many do this in the absence of the husband ….. As a woman or a husband, you need to keep monitoring your wife(ves) from time to time, women can be so funny/naughty at times even if they are religious…..
And as for those that engage in it, please try to stop it in order to help the future of your children

To be continued…..

Written by: Bint Abdulganiyy Ummu Sumayyah, may Allaah preserve her.

PARENTS: AN EARLIER TRAINING AND PROPER UPBRINGING RIGHT FROM AN EARLIER STAGE IS REQUIRED AND NEEDED…(part 2)

Teach your children to fear Allah, train them with Islamic etiquettes…… Right from infancy, if you are to stop your baby from crying with songs, make sure you sing reasonable ones….. If your children did some amazing things, instead of saying “good of you” or “clap for yourself” try to always say masha Allah or barokallahu fiih, with this they will get used to it …..
Teach them the manners of eating, greeting and others….. Don’t let your children be the kind that whenever they see a neighbor or a family member, they keep quiet instead of making teslim to them…. Build your home Islamically….. Because when parents build their home Islamically, the children will have every manner (be it neatness, smartness, being hardworking, taqwa, proper discipline etc.) Although no one is perfect…..

At-Taqwa (the fear of Allah) is a major thing you have to inculcate in your children…. I learnt a lesson from my mummy (may Allah increase her in goodness) that “if your children are trained to fear you more than their creator, they will engage in evil activities in your absence but if they are trained to fear Allah, they will always remember the commandments of Allah and they will know Allah always sees them even if you don’t”…..

So train your children properly right from home before the environment trains them for you( a training you might not like)…..
Teach them about tawheed(oneness of Allah),correct creed , adaab(Manners), the history of some companions and scholars (those on the right manhaj) in Islam etc.

If a 10 year old child still plays with sand outside without any Islamic knowledge, you as a mother has a long way to go because you are almost failing….. To me, a child of that age should have ben trained to be a masha Allah child that even if he has to play, he engages in matured and creative play……

If our children are well trained, the love of the mother keeps increasing in the heart of the husband because any time he sees his children doing good, he feels happiness inside him…….

To be continued…..

Written by: Bint Abdulganiyy Ummu Sumayyah, may Allaah preserve her.