TANGIBLE REASONS WHY MARRIAGE CRUSH EASILY THIS DAYS

Firstly…..

Did majority of us see marriage as Ibadah?? NO

Marriage is not a place you will just go and have fun alone….. You can face some trials but as long as you know it part of ibadah….. You will always turn to Allah whenever you face a trial…. When preparing for marriage, we do use our night to have fun instead of seeking Allah’s intervention as prescribed by the prophet, Sallallohu ‘alaehi wasallaam ….. Have it in mind that everything you are doing for your husband you shall have reward for it….. If you have this in mind, and fear Allah you will always try to please him to have the mercy of your lord.

Secondly,

Sisters do rush into marriage without proper steps and discussion…..
Steps like ….. Istikharoh, istisharoh, meeting one’s parents I.e did your parent have any discussion with him,did he have regards for them…. So if issues occur he will be respecting your parent before he misbehave…… Or he just come and you rushed in picking up a date for aqd….. Those that marry from  right source gan did you think they are free from trial ?? Not to talk of you  that didn’t present your family too well and you Don’t even take a step to know about his family and his background.

Thirdly,

Excessive packaging….. Sisters are full of excess packaging, when you meet some sisters for the first time their mode of saying teslim lasan,how they package outside and how they pretend to be masha Allah (effizy po)….when they are about to do Nikkah,they keep asking religion questions every time from the intending spouse so as to portray themselves well allas reverse is the case, for instance: they keep waking him up for tahajjud through phone calls and text mssgs, small thing they will start twisting voice and brothers head too will start swelling and reacting like chemical, they will start expecting high after Nikkah….. but afterwards the story changes ….. Abu will be like is this not sister fulanah that I got married to??…..smiles
No one is saying you shouldn’t be good,but be real and let them know your weak point so they can know where to start their work from and to know the true picture of whom they are about to engage(deal) with…..  LET THEM ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE AND DON’T OVER STATE YOURSELF

To be continue………

Written by: Bint Abdulghoniyy Ummu Mujaheed, May Allaah preserve her.

Q38

As salamua alaikum WA rahmatullah ya akhi

We have a situation and I will like USTADH input.

“Introduction” as it was called between a brother and a sister. Though in it there was request-to-marry and acceptance of request with approval from Waliy. But a date was fixed again for the marriage proper more like walimah were the mahr will be presented/paid. Between intimacy has happened behind close doors and she is pregnant.

Have they committed Zina though after acceptance but before payment of mahr.

Their intention that the introduction is just a visit not the real nikkah affects it’s status as nikkah.

please throw more light on any part of this scenario.

has the marriage actually taken place, as the girls father has canceled the marriage but the boys family insist that they are already married just the mahr pending.

[4/23, 12:27 PM] Ustadh Abdulganiy Jumah: It should be made clear here that a lady is not considered to have been married to a man except with the explicit approval of her waliyy after the man may have sought her hand in marriage. If the waliyy understands the difference between ‘aqd an-nikāh and walīmat an-nikāh in Islam and he says he doesn’t regard the introduction as ‘aqd an-nikāh, his statement should be given precedence and the suitor should not consider the lady yet as his wife. He should not be in seclusion with her. More importantly, he should not have sex with her otherwise he commits zinā.
However, if the waliyy sees the introduction as ‘aqd an-nikāh, it is permissible for him to be in seclusion with her. And if he has sex with her before the day fixed for the walīmah, he has not committed zinā as walīmah itself is not a condition for the validity of an-nikāh; rather it is mustahabbah according to majority of the scholars, and it is Sunnah that it even comes after consummation as practised by the Prophet, sallā Allāhu alayhi wa sallam.
However, it is not encouraged that the man has sex with the lady unless he has enlightened the family about that.
Wallahu a’lam.