PARENTS: AN EARLIER TRAINING AND PROPER UPBRINGING RIGHT FROM AN THEIR EARLIER STAGE IS REQUIRED AND NEEDED…(part 3)

It always so saddening when you see those that are assumed religious and masha Allah UMMU outside involving in this silly act “Bathing together with your children” just because they are still small especially a male child subhānalloh! Even if he is just a year old, what does it take you to bath separately?? A mother isn’t expected to feel comfortable bathing with their male child, its unreasonable….. What are you teaching him??
What do you want him to turn out to be in the future??
Even inside the house, you should know how to dress especially when your male children are available…. Children of nowadays have a very retentive memory that when they see something while still very small , they tend to capture it in their memory and you will be surprised when they say it out /or practice it some times has passed, then they take is as a manhaj…..
Ask yourself, what memory am I building in my children??
Some engage in this in the presence of their husbands (I wonder which kind of men they are) while many do this in the absence of the husband ….. As a woman or a husband, you need to keep monitoring your wife(ves) from time to time, women can be so funny/naughty at times even if they are religious…..
And as for those that engage in it, please try to stop it in order to help the future of your children

To be continued…..

Written by: Bint Abdulganiyy Ummu Sumayyah, may Allaah preserve her.

PARENTS: AN EARLIER TRAINING AND PROPER UPBRINGING RIGHT FROM AN EARLIER STAGE IS REQUIRED AND NEEDED…(part 2)

Teach your children to fear Allah, train them with Islamic etiquettes…… Right from infancy, if you are to stop your baby from crying with songs, make sure you sing reasonable ones….. If your children did some amazing things, instead of saying “good of you” or “clap for yourself” try to always say masha Allah or barokallahu fiih, with this they will get used to it …..
Teach them the manners of eating, greeting and others….. Don’t let your children be the kind that whenever they see a neighbor or a family member, they keep quiet instead of making teslim to them…. Build your home Islamically….. Because when parents build their home Islamically, the children will have every manner (be it neatness, smartness, being hardworking, taqwa, proper discipline etc.) Although no one is perfect…..

At-Taqwa (the fear of Allah) is a major thing you have to inculcate in your children…. I learnt a lesson from my mummy (may Allah increase her in goodness) that “if your children are trained to fear you more than their creator, they will engage in evil activities in your absence but if they are trained to fear Allah, they will always remember the commandments of Allah and they will know Allah always sees them even if you don’t”…..

So train your children properly right from home before the environment trains them for you( a training you might not like)…..
Teach them about tawheed(oneness of Allah),correct creed , adaab(Manners), the history of some companions and scholars (those on the right manhaj) in Islam etc.

If a 10 year old child still plays with sand outside without any Islamic knowledge, you as a mother has a long way to go because you are almost failing….. To me, a child of that age should have ben trained to be a masha Allah child that even if he has to play, he engages in matured and creative play……

If our children are well trained, the love of the mother keeps increasing in the heart of the husband because any time he sees his children doing good, he feels happiness inside him…….

To be continued…..

Written by: Bint Abdulganiyy Ummu Sumayyah, may Allaah preserve her.

PARENTS: AN EARLIER TRAINING AND UPBRINGING FROM THEIR EARLIER STAGE IS REQUIRED AND NEEDED…(part 1)

Having nurtured as sister the need to make ahead preparations to be a good mother to our children,we should not also forget the need and significance of an earlier upbringing and training (be it islamic and home training) on our children at the earliest stage of their life ….this should be emphasized and giving total concideration please.!!

It baffles and disturbs me alot seeing a niqobite’s children that lack proper training …..

Yes!,we may perhaps agree with you that it is ALlāh that helps the mothers to achieve their aim in raising their children ….,however,we do not just rely on ALlāh in such a way that we ignore “asbāb”,this is a blameworthy type of reliance even in the shariah,in parental upbringing,the significant of a mother can not be disputed as she would be the one majorly to play vital roles during the course of the upbringing and care….this is known and apparent to all if I may say!!

Firstly,let take a glamp look as regard the issue of “Handling phones and how it’s been operated by children these days”…. It so pathetic seeing a child of an age range between 2/3 years operating an Android phone…..we are actually the source of their problem if I would conclude here!

Starting from their earlier stage (infants) we give them phones to stop crying,we give them phones to play games with it,they take phones anyhow they like…which is not really proper,the parent (duo of the mother and father) shouldn’t spoil their kids by giving them their phone or being carried away with phone all the time,it should be restricted even if it’s gonna happen at most once a while….. Apparently,the mother’s duty in this aspect will be more since they will be with the children a lot…. Once you are with your family (both husband and children) stay away from phone all the time,being with the phone always will entice the kids and make them also to develop interest and love more for phones since their parent are always busy with it too …..
Some do think that the phone is the best instrument to be used in teaching them some things (listening to Qur’an,some Islamic video and co.).. ..well, looking at it from the prons angle,it seems right and looking at it furthely from cons angle also,it seems wrong too…

Children can learn via other materials not necessarily phone alone,because the harm of phones to all children and adults outweighs the benefits in most cases and not “all cases” tho….

Once you have a baby be creative enough to make other things and materials that can entice them,create plays from which they can learn from it,get yourself busy with reading,get some toys that will make them creative,with this you will be able draw their attention towards learning and diverting it away from the vices of the phone….. Once they are 2/3 years,include it in your timetable for everyone to read for like an hour….. You will have a book to read/Qur’an,also busy them with some playful materials from which they can also gain from…. Get them a mp3 player or Bluetooth for Qur’an and adhkār….. With this their love for phones will not be much compare to how the children handle phones these days…..

May ALlāh ease our affairs….

To be continued…..

Written by: Bint Abdulganiyy Ummu Sumayyah, may Allaah preserve her.